And I better! My farts smell like the combined efforts of a diaper landfill and Fidel Castro’s colostomy bag. Absolutely horrible and going out to dinner with my side of the family and going to PF Changs are two reasons why I should evacuate post-haste. It just feels like just farts and no poop. I’ve been on the fence (which would hurt) about whether or not I really have to drop a stinkie. Can’t hurt to try, right?

For the lack of urgency, that was a metric ton of crap. I had a genuine look of surprise of my face when I sat down, had to go immediately and felt like someone had turned my anus into a Walmart on Black Friday morning but in reverse. Wow. If I wasn’t sure I had go now, later, I most definitely would be sure.  The pile was impressive, the smell was somehow worse than my farts and the cleanup makes Haiti look like Aruba. Wonderous.