Oh holy shit. After the day I had, I needed that poop. Wow. When you actually say ‘Oh holy shit’ when you walk out of the bathroom, it’s quite possibly… a holy shit. To reinforce this, my poop underlined itself. Yes, there was a nice springtime stack of firm logs at the bottom of the shitter, but there was a stiff six inch log right below it. My poop was trying to tell me something – this means something. I can imagine Richard Dreyfuss sitting on the throne saying the same thing.

Well, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows. I do know that that evacuation was long overdue. Everyone’s favorite Log Log costar, the cunt from downstairs, pulled her right before I leave bullshit yet again and I had to clench cheeks. I need to take a crap on her desk. I really do. Hopefully it’ll smell like this one did too. Very roasted. Awesome.